No MORE Pooping in the Pantry!

Just 1 month shy of our daughter, Isabella Sara turning 4 1/2, she was finally ready to POOP IN THE TOILET! I just said the same things I always said to encourage her, like, "today's the day, are you ready??" She responded with, "no not today, I'll tell you when I'm ready, Please hurry get me a pull up!" Or, Mom, I'll be ready soon...I would say, when is soon, she said you know soon! Then she would proceed to hide somewhere, like a corner, or our pantry in the kitchen and say this, "MOm stop talking please, i can't concentrate! hmmm, i said, if you are saying things like concentrate, shouldn't you be ready to poop on the toilet????" Everyone asked if she was pooping in the toilet yet, I did even resort to bribery...we'd say, Bella, we'll get you a Barbie Jeep, and she would say, no thank you, I'm not ready...I have to admit, I didn't even bribe with candy like many moms and a lot of parenting books suggest...I just thought, when she's ready, she'll do it.

So this weekend, I was changing her pullup with poopies and she was so big, I just thought I'd suggest one more time..I said, "Bella, I just know you're ready to poop in toilet, I know it's scary, but you are so brave and I really believe you're ready...what do you think??" She said, "really Mom, you think so?" And the next day we took off her pullup and she did it! She was finally READY...I asked her, "so are you going to want the Barbie Jeep, she said, "No Mom, I just pooped in the toilet, let's not talk about it." Case closed...she has pooped in it since, but let's me know she is a bit scared though each time still. I can tell you this, they don't do anything until they are ready! So why worry? Just be patient...they all learn.

A "Love Time Out"

Lately, every time I am thinking something or explaining it to my husband, I have a hard time selling him on my ideas, because he doesn't read about disciplining the kids and I just get these messages from my heart. I don't have proof...well, lately, I somehow find something written that seems similar to what I am saying and thinking...I have been trying to explain this concept to my husband and to myself about discipline...that our kids need discipline if they are hurting another or being mean. If they are being sad, or crying or feeling left out or angry on their own, and they have a "tantrum" they need LOVE. I have said, it's hard to give love when they are screaming and yelling and inconsolable, but this is when they need it most. I believe when they cry and yell and act irrational...

!!!!! WAIT, I have to pause, Isabella is right now having a tantrum!!!! How ironic, I am typing about it and it's happening!!! Ok, I'm back...

So I was saying that when they get crazy they need love, they need us to teach them how to calm down, breathe, and relax and explain what they are feeling. I have been sitting with Isabella during her "tantrums" and hugging her, talking to her, or just petting her legs, til she calms down. I have called this a "LOVE TIME OUT" I tell her that her heart needs love and when she freaks out like this it is not good for her body. She shakes, yells, screams, cries, etc. She can't calm down. I have always felt it's my job to help her learn. I tell her to breathe, take a few breaths, I call them Yoga Breaths, and try to calm down. Try to tell me what's upsetting her and see how we can create a solution together. I am grateful that I can be home with my girls and have the time to teach them and learn from them. It does take an enormous amount of time and patience. Sometimes, it doesn't help but I sing to her to distract her...not something beautiful, I sing a hit from the 70's...it goes like this...AAHH FREAKOUT, YEAH, SHE'S A SUPERFREAK, SHE'S SUPERFREAKY....I know this is not appreciated, but sometimes it makes her laugh.

Anyway, today, and everyday I am expanding my world of knowledge and found this article talking about this very thing: http://www.inspiredparentingmagazine.com/articles/shomphe_lori/article1.html
It may not be for everyone, but it was great for me to hear that someone else has found this method to be beneficial for their family.