GOODBYE, PAP! Translation in our family = Pacifier

Some people call it a binky, papi, fire, paci, etc...In our family, it was affectionately known as, PAP! This PAP became a part of our family since Isabella learned to talk and named her pacifier this...We've had to keep "track" of this friend for 4 1/2 years now. It's been part of our inventory system and I needed to have one on hand whenever she asked for it. When she was a baby, we attached it to her with a clip on...when she was older I just made sure we had them upstairs, downstairs, in the fridge, in the cooler when we went out and sometimes in my purse. As she got older, people would comment and say she was too old and it's time, but I truly wanted her to decide when she was ready. About 6 months ago, we took Gabi off her baby pap because her teeth were not coming in as she liked to hold her pacifier with her gums, on the left side of her mouth like Popeye! I knew in my heart it was affecting her and her teeth/health, so we took it away cold turkey...she didn't even cry one little bit. Isabella still used her friend and loved it! Mostly when she was tired or hurt and at night.

Then, I found out that pacifiers, like other bottles, nipples, plastics, contained a chemical called BPA...bisphenol A...not safe for anyone. You can decide for yourself and read about it here and other chemicals to avoid: http://healthychild.org/5steps/5_steps_5/?gclid=CMmTlZnxgZcCFQhJagodEjs0Yw#safety_checklist

So I went online and ordered BPA and phatlate free pacifiers for Isabella.

Ok, so about 3 weeks ago, Gabi decided that she loved Isabella's pacifier with a duck on it...the pink one. She quickly named it, "my duck duck my." After we laughed, we knew it wasn't a new chinese dinner, and we decoded what she was calling it, it was stuck to her like glue! All of a sudden, all day, she was like "where's my duck duck my." Ok, so maybe it's the chemical free plastic, but both Isabella and Gabi broke through the plastic and I ended up throwing almost all the pacifiers out. Isabella even helped me...later that night, we fished one out, yes from the trash and sterilized one that was not "truly" broken yet because she couldn't sleep. Again, we cold turkey stopped Gabi's use, but Bella was a harder habit to break.

Well, last night was a new experience for me...I had to throw away our last and final PAP! It was so hard on her and me...I let her sleep in our room, I just laid with her, held her, pet her, played with her hair...I told her it's ok to be sad and she can cry if she feels like it (not sure this wasn't a mistake, out came the tears) I told her that we were grateful for all the times Pap made us feel better and took away our pain and made her feel safe. We loved Pap and would always remember him/her. We appreciated that instead I bought her a Barbie she wanted and she said, "Mom, I'd trade all my toys if I can have my pap back." She was going through withdrawal. I cried with her (silently) and sung to her...Maybe she was crying from my singing or the pap, we'll never know, but she did finally fall asleep...she is still sleeping...it was a late night, but as I sit next to her my hope and my dream is that I can comfort her anytime she needs me to and always help her move forward to the next phase in life. :) Did I mention it's 10:44am! She is a great sleeper!!!!! And she slept all night without her friend, PAP!

UPDATE!!
TODAY WAS HARD! Hard for me, Hard for Isabella! So we decided to make "PAP" a Goodbye We LOVE You cake! it came out adorable and most of all, distracted Bella from her sadness and fear of not having the pap.
ONE MORE UPDATE!!
TONIGHT WAS HARDER! Isabella finally went to sleep sometime before 1am, crying, asking for her Pap, saying, "Mommy, I'm so sad, what should I do?" breaking my heart...and keeping me up :) Then finally she fell asleep and I thought we're in the clear. No such luck, she woke up at 4am saying the exact same thing and asking for her friend and is still currently up for the day...I assume she'll nap later, maybe, but now I get to stay up! Boy, I miss PAP.

P.S. For anyone who is still using a Pap or starts to use one you need to search online for BPA FREE pacifiers, bottles, etc., this is a brand you can look for...
Evenflo Mimi Soft Touch pacifiers are BPA free and come in a two pack.

My Best Friend, Karla, My Twin

This pic (Karla, Tina, Imari - Karla's Daughter)
I got the best surprise of my life last Wed at 11pm...my best friend in the entire world's brother, Abe, asked if he could stop by for a minute on his way to a business meeting. (He was driving up the night before the meeting to stay over for the morning meeting.) I said ok, but was a bit annoyed and tired at this hour. I had just got the girls to bed, Isabella was still up in her bed, but I was relaxing and only had my feet up for 2 minutes, when Abe said I'll be there in 5 minutes! I said, FINE!! He came by, Alan let him in, he came up to get me then forced us to come out to his car...I was complaining all the way, "why do we have to come out..." Well, he asked me to open the front passenger door and out jumped Karla and Imari all the way from Chicago! I was so stunned, I didn't know what to do. I'm happy I didn't faint or pee, but I was so happy I couldn't even breathe or speak for few minutes! I immediately said, "I normally don't love surprises, but I LOVE this one!" I didn't even totally realize how much I needed to see Karla at that time. She is an amazing wonderful influence in my life, she is part of my heart and I adore her and really needed to see her and there she was. I told Alan to immediately go get Isabella and she was shocked too! I said, "Mommy had no idea they were coming, it was all a big surpirse." Anyway, we had such an amazing time...almost a week together. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. We hugged and kissed every chance we got...we were like a "couple" but we didn't care! We are so in love as friends! I feel renewed and will continue put my intentions on the fact that Karla must live here! She wants to move here just as badly as well all want them here. Karla and I have been best friends since high school/beauty school. We have had our moments like any friendship has ups and downs, but we had a really big falling/fight out right before Alan's and my wedding. We "broke" up for 3 months...it was a misunderstanding and a fight that took place 2300 miles apart from each other, but nonetheless, it seemed that our friendship could be over forever. After 3 long months, Karla called me and I don't exactly remember the details, but we made up and I can say looking back, whatever it was we thought we were so upset about, it would have been a shame to lose such an amazing friendship. We are mommies now and wives and still best friends and we have an energy around us when we're together that can take over the world! I am so so grateful everyday for our friendship and sisterhood with this woman who is like my fraternal twin...we are the same in so many ways yet a bit different too! Also, I thought of how I felt about Abe, I was so tired from my day, and never, which I am not proud of, thought that something amazing could be happening, I was just thinking why is he here! He is so annoying!!! I am so grateful that he brought Karla and Imari and Giancarlo to us! I am sad that didn't seem more appreciative at the time but I was so confused as to why he was so pushy! :)
We had so much fun, we stayed up late every night we were together, even Giancarlo and Isabella stayed up late. We wanted to take in every second we had together. Our girls, Isabella and Gabrielle were in heaven and has so much fun with Aunty Karla and Imari (Gabi called her, "I") and Giancarlo. Alan came almost everywhere with us...he is amazing! When they showed up we said there are very few people you would be willing to stop the world for, blow up mattresses and open your home fully to! Friends like this are hard to come by. I can't wait to see them all again really soon. I am proud that we have kept this relationship going for 18 years now and the last 14 years have been via long distance. We talk almost everyday and always always think of each other!